It is really hard to experience losing someone we love, and as mortal beings, we undergo the process of grieving when we lose someone. When it comes to death and dying, grief has five stages including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. A person grieving may report more stages, while others may not experience all stages mentioned here, it is because grief is subjective and nature, and it is a unique experience. Denial helps an individual to survive the tragic event of losing someone, and this stage involves a feeling of emptiness, overwhelming, and meaningless feeling. There is actually grace in denial because this is how we compensate for our loss, letting and allowing in only as much as we can deal with. The denial stage serves as your protection form your inner violent thoughts and emotions, but as you become stronger and ready to face them, denial will start to fade.
It is acceptable to feel anger after the denial stage, and this is a normal element of the grief’s healing process. You can display your anger by crying or shouting on the top of your lungs to release the pain and tension that were built when you were in the denial stage, but be careful being violent because you may harm yourself and other people. The anger stage may also involve blaming other people, yourself, and even God for losing your loved one, and this is a normal feeling of a person who is in grief. We are living in a society that fears anger, so we feel deserted, alone and abandoned. Anger becomes your bridge to the open sea, giving you a structure from the empty denial stage, so you tend to become angry towards a relative who did not attend the funeral or the doctor who attended to your loved one when he was sick. It is commonly observe that people who show too much anger are those who really showed a high level of love to their departed loved one. Then comes the bargaining stage, wherein you promise to do anything just for your loved one to live. A person grieving feels guilt and this stage may last for weeks or months. The guilt inside you leads to self-blame, remembering the past and wondering if things got much better when you have done something better.
The depressive stage seems to last forever, this is accepting the reality that you have lost your loved one and his life will no longer be restored. Some people don’t get away with this stage and may lead to total depression, needing medical help. A depressed person may entirely withdraw from his social activities, and when realization starts, and so as acceptance, and slowly become engaged in this society again.